Extra Martial Relationships

My lovely soon to be ex-husband told me today that he knew about all of the other relationships I have been having in my life. I asked him what relationships? He said "you know what I am talking about.". OK, no I do not, I wish I had extra relationships. I wish there was a man in my life that I could sustain a conversation with. If it can not be the man I had two children with and promised to love forever, what man can fill that place? Holy shit, that is a tall order to fill. I think that my kids are the most scary part of the divorce for me. I am ok to move ahead, my children are the major casualties. No other man will feel as much emotion as I do for my children than Byron. I know there are wonderful people who love other people's children, but never the same as if they came from you. Extra relationships would be welcome. Apply here please. I am a selfish woman and would like attention, I think I mentioned before too, sex, I would like sex, and holding, and kissing, and the movies, and pizza on the couch. How the hell did an educated successful woman like myself end up with a man who thinks she is a piece of dirt. I sometimes fear that if I feel something, I will to easily communicate it to someone else. I consider that honest and being true to and open about yourself and your feelings. I am under the distinct impression that many others find it scary and disconcerting. WTF? Do people not want to know the way it is for others? Isn't that the insight we are searching for in our lives, the match, the mate, the one that will relate to us as if we had no fear?